Break the Weekend Binge Cycle and Lose Weight After 40- Why You Keep Starting Over Every Monday | 66

0:00 SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed that every Monday feels like a day one?

0:04 SPEAKER_00: Monday morning comes and you're determined.

0:06 SPEAKER_00: This is the week you're finally going to stay on track.

0:09 SPEAKER_00: You meal prep, you make a workout plan, you promise yourself you're done with the overeating, the emotional eating, and that I'll start tomorrow's cycle again.

0:17 SPEAKER_00: But then Friday night rolls around, a dinner out, a few snacks while watching TV, a stressful weekend, a treat yourself mindset, and before you know it, Monday is back again and you are starting all over doing the same things.

0:32 SPEAKER_00: If you've been doing this for years, you're not lacking motivation, you're not lazy, and you're definitely you're not broken.

0:40 SPEAKER_00: You're stuck in a cycle that most women over 40, including myself, I went through this, have never been taught how to break.

0:46 SPEAKER_00: So today I'm going to show you exactly why this is happening and the mindset shifts that change everything.

0:52 SPEAKER_00: There may be a way that you can stop starting over every Monday.

0:55 SPEAKER_00: First, tell me if any of this sounds like you.

0:58 SPEAKER_00: I ate so bad this weekend, I'll get back on track Monday.

1:01 SPEAKER_00: I'm going to eat all the food now before my diet starts again.

1:05 SPEAKER_00: I'll make up for what I ate tomorrow.

1:07 SPEAKER_00: If you're nodding your head, yes, you're in the right place.

1:10 SPEAKER_00: Let's look at the facts.

1:12 SPEAKER_00: You know the feeling.

1:13 SPEAKER_00: Sunday is hope.

1:14 SPEAKER_00: Monday and Tuesday, you're crushing it.

1:16 SPEAKER_00: By Wednesday, something slips.

1:18 SPEAKER_00: Thursday, you say screw it.

1:20 SPEAKER_00: And the weekend becomes the world mix of enjoying yourself and also dreading Monday because here we go again.

1:26 SPEAKER_00: We're going to do it all over again.

1:29 SPEAKER_00: Today I want to show you why this isn't a discipline problem.

1:33 SPEAKER_00: It's not that you don't want it badly enough.

1:35 SPEAKER_00: There is an actual pattern happening here.

1:38 SPEAKER_00: And once you see it, you're going to be able to finally do something different and break it.

1:43 SPEAKER_00: So put those earbuds in, take a deep breath, and let's prioritize the best version of you.

1:51 SPEAKER_00: Hey beautiful, and welcome to Weight Loss in Midlife, where we ditch the diet cycle and finally lose fat, build muscle, and feel confident again.

1:59 SPEAKER_00: I'm Jennifer, a certified women's coach who's been where you are, stuck in the all-or-nothing cycle, navigating midlife changes and wondering why what used to work doesn't anymore.

2:10 SPEAKER_00: After years of restriction and burnout, I found a better way.

2:13 SPEAKER_00: Built on macros, mindset, and muscles.

2:16 SPEAKER_00: Each week, I'll share the strategies to help you lose fat, boost your metabolism, and build lasting strength and confidence.

2:22 SPEAKER_00: Let's dive into today's episode.

2:29 SPEAKER_00: Hey beautiful, welcome back to the Weight Loss in Midlife Podcast, the show for busy women in midlife who want to finally lose fat for good, feel confident, and have the energy to live their best life.

2:38 SPEAKER_00: I used to spend so much time thinking about food, like so much time.

2:42 SPEAKER_00: What to eat, when to eat it, how much, what plan I was on, what I was going to do differently starting Monday.

2:48 SPEAKER_00: I had done every version of every diet.

2:51 SPEAKER_00: I knew exactly what I should be doing, and I was completely stuck in this cycle that I could not get out of no matter how hard I tried.

2:58 SPEAKER_00: And what I eventually figured out that it was never about the food.

3:02 SPEAKER_00: It was the way I was thinking about the food, the shame, the all or nothing thinking that turned one hard meal into a whole week of throwing everything away.

3:10 SPEAKER_00: None of the plans I tried touched on any of that.

3:13 SPEAKER_00: They just handed me more rules, more restrictions, and sent me off to follow them until inevitably I just didn't.

3:19 SPEAKER_00: That is what the weight loss in midlife method does differently.

3:22 SPEAKER_00: It is a four-step private coaching program built on what I call the real framework, wiring your thoughts so that that all or nothing thinking stops running the show, eating that actually works for your real life, aligned actions that fit your schedule and your energy on your worst days, and the lasting results that go far beyond that number on the scale.

3:42 SPEAKER_00: If any of what I just said felt like me describing your life, this is your sign.

3:46 SPEAKER_00: Head to jenniferpeak.com backslash coaching to join the program.

3:51 SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about where you are, what has been keeping you stuck, and what it looks like to actually solve it.

3:56 SPEAKER_00: I would love to work with you and help you lose that weight for good.

4:00 SPEAKER_00: I know this cycle because I lived it for years.

4:03 SPEAKER_00: My entire week revolved around being good.

4:06 SPEAKER_00: Monday morning felt like that clean slate.

4:08 SPEAKER_00: I'd meal prep, track everything, avoid foods I loved, promise myself that this was the week I'd finally get it right.

4:15 SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I can usually hold it together for a few days, but by Friday afternoon, I felt like I deserved a reward.

4:23 SPEAKER_00: I'd worked so hard, taking care of everyone else, stayed on track, so Friday night became pizza night.

4:28 SPEAKER_00: Saturday became whatever I wanted day.

4:30 SPEAKER_00: Sunday turned into I might as well enjoy everything because Monday I'm starting all over again.

4:36 SPEAKER_00: Then Sunday evening would arrive.

4:38 SPEAKER_00: I'd feel bloated, frustrated, disappointed, ashamed, guilty.

4:41 SPEAKER_00: I'd step on the scale Monday morning hoping the damage wasn't as bad as I thought.

4:45 SPEAKER_00: And then I'd start it all over again Monday.

4:48 SPEAKER_00: What I didn't realize was that I was wasn't failing.

4:52 SPEAKER_00: The system that I was using was failing me because any plan that requires perfection is eventually going to just fall apart because our lives are not perfect.

5:01 SPEAKER_00: There's chaos, there's things that come up, there's kids, there's family, there's work, and that's what we're talking about today.

5:09 SPEAKER_00: But is it essentially this cycle of starting over, usually controlling or cutting out or trying to follow a plan, feeling like it works for that little bit of time and a little while could be a few hours to a few days to a few weeks, hey, maybe even a few months.

5:24 SPEAKER_00: Unlikely, unusual, but this is the idea, or like I'm going to start over, but you get trapped in this cycle of doing the same thing and ending up in the same outcome, which is feeling like you just can't sustain the restriction or the good food or the working out five or six days a week.

5:44 SPEAKER_00: But what I really want to talk about today is like how do we break free from that?

5:47 SPEAKER_00: How do we break free from the idea that there's a start and then there's a stop?

5:52 SPEAKER_00: Because that's the kind of one of the first things that happens is that we believe that Monday is a fresh start and anything that has to do with that start also has a finish, right?

6:03 SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of the problem with food is that we can't start and stop food and the way of eating or following a plan without being on a diet.

6:10 SPEAKER_00: We need to find a way of eating that is sustainable, that is flexible for our busy lives, for the chaos, for the disruptions that are forgiving, that fit in our life, and that we really don't actually feel like something that we're starting and stopping.

6:24 SPEAKER_00: This is just the process of eating in a way that feels good, that works with your life.

6:29 SPEAKER_00: So here's why the Monday reset cycle happens.

6:32 SPEAKER_00: And again, it happens to everyone at some point in some way, and even not just with food, with pretty much any habit that you have, right?

6:41 SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, I'll start that on Monday.

6:43 SPEAKER_00: I'll do that on Monday.

6:44 SPEAKER_00: But diet culture has conditioned us, especially with foods, that Monday to Friday is when we're being good.

6:50 SPEAKER_00: And then if we're good during the week, we can earn a little bit of flexibility on the weekend.

6:55 SPEAKER_00: So some people might have a cheat day, or often people will describe to me, I'm pretty good Monday through Friday, but I let loose a little bit on the weekend.

7:03 SPEAKER_00: So even just using the language to describe how you're eating is setting you up for that start and stop cycle.

7:11 SPEAKER_00: But it's kind of based on this all or nothing mindset, that this idea that there's one way to eat, that we should be perfect with it, that we even can be perfect with it.

7:20 SPEAKER_00: And then if we aren't, if we somehow mess up, we failed.

7:25 SPEAKER_00: So this all or nothing mindset that keeps us from finding moderation easily because we try to follow the set of rules or we try to be so good, or we try to convince ourselves that we can live the rest of our lives without carbs or without sugar or without foods that we enjoy.

7:40 SPEAKER_00: And when we eventually fail, because everyone does, when we're trying to apply that all or nothing thinking to food, then that can lead to the feeling of, well, I can't do it, so I might as well not even try.

7:51 SPEAKER_00: And I describe this as this weird fallacy that we've set the bar at 100% and somehow 99% or 80% or even 50% become not good enough.

8:03 SPEAKER_00: So that's why I talk so much about lowering the bar.

8:06 SPEAKER_00: So the first point is there's this light switch versus dimmer or that all or nothing thinking mindset.

8:13 SPEAKER_00: So the first thing that's happening here is what's called an all or nothing mindset.

8:17 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's called black and white thinking.

8:19 SPEAKER_00: It's when everything in your day gets sorted into one of two boxes.

8:23 SPEAKER_00: So there's a good box or there's a bad box, on track or off the rails, perfect or total failure.

8:29 SPEAKER_00: There's no middle ground.

8:30 SPEAKER_00: And here's the trap with that.

8:32 SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, we set the bar for ourselves at 100%, and then 90% or 80% or even 50% start feeling like it didn't count or it's not working.

8:41 SPEAKER_00: Anything less than that perfect got filed under failure.

8:45 SPEAKER_00: Let me give you a quick way to check if this is you.

8:47 SPEAKER_00: Do you find yourself trying to be extra good after you've eaten something you've already labeled as bad?

8:53 SPEAKER_00: Do you eat really well Monday through Friday, but feel like the weekend is when everything falls apart?

8:58 SPEAKER_00: If you miss one workout, does it feel like you've ruined your whole streak?

9:01 SPEAKER_00: Have you ever sworn off sugar or carbs or alcohol completely, only ending up to overdoing it on the exact same thing later?

9:08 SPEAKER_00: Do you catch yourself thinking, nothing I do is ever good enough?

9:13 SPEAKER_00: Or if I just weighed less, everything else would fall into place.

9:17 SPEAKER_00: If you're nodding along to any of that, I want you to hear me.

9:21 SPEAKER_00: That's not a personality flaw.

9:22 SPEAKER_00: That's all or nothing thinking.

9:24 SPEAKER_00: And it's something almost every one of us has been taught in one way or another.

9:29 SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing that it does to us.

9:31 SPEAKER_00: It keeps us flipping back and forth between extremes, restrictions, then overeating, no exercises at all, then trying to punish ourselves at the gym, feeling motivated and excited, then feeling like there's no point even trying.

9:44 SPEAKER_00: And I know you know what I mean.

9:46 SPEAKER_00: So here's the reframe I want to give you.

9:48 SPEAKER_00: I think that this might be one of the most important things in this whole episode.

9:53 SPEAKER_00: Most of us were taught to think about eating like a light switch.

9:56 SPEAKER_00: You're either on or you're off.

9:58 SPEAKER_00: But real life doesn't work like a light switch.

10:00 SPEAKER_00: Real life works like a dimmer.

10:02 SPEAKER_00: A dimmer switch can go all the way up, all the way down, or somewhere in between.

10:07 SPEAKER_00: One choice doesn't flip you from on permanently off.

10:11 SPEAKER_00: It just adjusts the light a little.

10:13 SPEAKER_00: And the beautiful thing about a dimmer is you can adjust it right back whenever you want with no waiting period, no permission needed.

10:20 SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what I want you to get really practical because understanding this one thing, but actually living it day to day is another thing.

10:28 SPEAKER_00: So let me give you some four small shifts that help me that I see a lot of women use and it helps them too.

10:35 SPEAKER_00: So the first one is this start noticing when you're stuck in that black and white, all or nothing thinking.

10:41 SPEAKER_00: Be honest with yourself.

10:43 SPEAKER_00: This is half the battle.

10:44 SPEAKER_00: Often the words always, never, and nothing are your giveaway.

10:48 SPEAKER_00: I always mess this up.

10:50 SPEAKER_00: I never stick to anything.

10:51 SPEAKER_00: Nothing I do works.

10:52 SPEAKER_00: If you catch yourself using those words, that's your sign that you're in that all or nothing zone.

10:58 SPEAKER_00: Here's a little something that helps me at the end of the day.

11:01 SPEAKER_00: So at the end of each day, I think about a couple of things I'm proud of from that day.

11:05 SPEAKER_00: Not the stuff that I didn't get to, not the stuff that I felt like I failed at, just the things I did do or something that I learned.

11:13 SPEAKER_00: My natural tendency is to run through my flaws before I fall asleep.

11:17 SPEAKER_00: So this is me actively, intentionally interrupting that pattern.

11:22 SPEAKER_00: You could do this in your head, you can journal, however, feels right or natural to you, just two minutes of counting what went right.

11:29 SPEAKER_00: It could be something simple that you added protein to a meal.

11:34 SPEAKER_00: It could be something that I got to walk for 20 minutes that day.

11:37 SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, recognize what you did well that day.

11:41 SPEAKER_00: Recognize the things that you feel proud of.

11:43 SPEAKER_00: The second shift is giving yourself permission to enjoy food throughout the week, not just on the weekend.

11:48 SPEAKER_00: Here's why this matters so much.

11:50 SPEAKER_00: If you spend Monday through Friday being really strict, by the time the weekend rolls around, you feel like you've earned a treat.

11:56 SPEAKER_00: And when you've been feeling that deprived or restricted, one treat can very easily turn into a whole weekend of treats.

12:04 SPEAKER_00: Trust me, been there, done that.

12:06 SPEAKER_00: So instead, what if you had a little something you actually enjoyed most days?

12:10 SPEAKER_00: For me, it's that couple squares of chocolate every day.

12:13 SPEAKER_00: If I'm at a birthday party and there's cake, I'll have a piece of it.

12:16 SPEAKER_00: We had a retirement party this week and I enjoyed the cake.

12:20 SPEAKER_00: It was a chocolate chip pound cake.

12:22 SPEAKER_00: The icing was amazing, and I sat there and enjoyed every single bite instead of sitting there feeling guilty, I shouldn't be eating this or I should go home and work out.

12:33 SPEAKER_00: No, I sat there and I enjoyed every single bite and it was worth it.

12:38 SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I'll even ask myself first, am I allowed to have this?

12:41 SPEAKER_00: And the answer is always yes.

12:43 SPEAKER_00: But then I get curious, do I actually feel like it right now?

12:47 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the answer is yes, I do want this.

12:49 SPEAKER_00: And sometimes once I know I'm allowed, I realize I don't even want it that much.

12:54 SPEAKER_00: Either way, there's no charge around it.

12:57 SPEAKER_00: The third shift is about the words we use around the food that we eat.

13:01 SPEAKER_00: I get that most of us were taught that there are good foods and bad foods.

13:05 SPEAKER_00: That is the diet culture that we are in.

13:07 SPEAKER_00: But there really aren't good foods and bad foods.

13:10 SPEAKER_00: A piece of cake isn't bad and a salad isn't good.

13:13 SPEAKER_00: They're just food.

13:14 SPEAKER_00: And when you eat something and then feel guilty about it, that guilt is going to do more damage than the food ever could.

13:21 SPEAKER_00: Here's why this is so important.

13:23 SPEAKER_00: If you believe a certain food is bad or it's off limits, you're way more likely to feel guilty after eating it.

13:29 SPEAKER_00: And you're also, if when you tell yourself you can't have it, you are going to want it even more.

13:34 SPEAKER_00: And that guilt creates this emotional charge around the food that just keeps building.

13:38 SPEAKER_00: So this week, try to notice when you're labeling food as good or bad in your head or out loud, you'll probably be surprised how often this is happening because honestly, it's everywhere.

13:48 SPEAKER_00: It's just how our culture talks about food.

13:51 SPEAKER_00: But you don't have to talk about it that way.

13:53 SPEAKER_00: And when your language starts to shift, your thinking shifts with it, your behavior follows it.

13:58 SPEAKER_00: And the fourth shift, this one might be my favorite.

14:01 SPEAKER_00: Find the silver lining and practice being what I'd called an anti-perfectionist.

14:06 SPEAKER_00: Good enough really is good enough.

14:08 SPEAKER_00: Something is always better than nothing.

14:10 SPEAKER_00: Don't underestimate what a small, imperfect effort can do over time.

14:16 SPEAKER_00: Here's a little trick I love.

14:18 SPEAKER_00: Take whatever negative thing you're telling yourself and add the word but to the end of it.

14:23 SPEAKER_00: I didn't get to exercise today, but I went to bed an hour earlier and my body needed that rest.

14:28 SPEAKER_00: I overate at dinner tonight, but I understand why that happened and I can learn from it.

14:34 SPEAKER_00: I ate dessert today, but I really enjoyed it, and that's allowed.

14:38 SPEAKER_00: I didn't eat enough vegetables today, but I did have two pieces of fruit.

14:42 SPEAKER_00: What I really want you to walk away with is understanding losing weight is not about being perfect.

14:47 SPEAKER_00: Can I challenge you to take that imperfect action this week?

14:50 SPEAKER_00: Can you embrace what I'd call just healthy enough instead of perfect?

14:54 SPEAKER_00: Here's what that actually might look like in real life.

14:57 SPEAKER_00: Going for an enjoyable 20-minute walk instead of forcing yourself through a brutal hour-long workout you dread and can never stick with, having a sandwich for lunch instead of a sad little salad with no carbs in it, because some carbs are probably going to help you feel comfortably full and satisfied.

15:13 SPEAKER_00: Not beating yourself up if you have dessert or eat more than you plan because you do not have to eat perfectly to be healthy, or even just heading to your bedroom 20 minutes earlier at night, even if you don't fall asleep any faster.

15:26 SPEAKER_00: These little imperfect actions are the actual building blocks.

15:30 SPEAKER_00: And because they come with so much less pressure than an all or nothing plan, you can add them gradually and over time, they're gonna add up to something pretty remarkable.

15:39 SPEAKER_00: The pressure to be perfect is often what makes consistency feel impossible.

15:43 SPEAKER_00: But imperfect action, that's what builds momentum.

15:47 SPEAKER_00: That's what keeps you going.

15:48 SPEAKER_00: And that right there is why some women feel stuck, and it's not because they lack willpower, it's because they're playing by the light switch rule in a dimmer switch world.

15:57 SPEAKER_00: You really don't have to eat perfectly to be healthy.

15:59 SPEAKER_00: Imperfect action always, always is better than no action at all.

16:04 SPEAKER_00: All right, before we wrap up, I want to leave you with three action steps you can practice week.

16:08 SPEAKER_00: The first action step is stop waiting for Monday.

16:11 SPEAKER_00: The next time you catch yourself thinking, I'll start over on Monday, I want you to challenge that thought and ask yourself, what is one small thing I can do at my very next meal?

16:20 SPEAKER_00: Not tomorrow, not Monday, not next week.

16:23 SPEAKER_00: Your next meal is always a fresh opportunity.

16:25 SPEAKER_00: Had a big lunch, make dinner nourishing.

16:28 SPEAKER_00: Overeat at dinner, have a balanced breakfast.

16:30 SPEAKER_00: Remember, one meal never determines your success.

16:33 SPEAKER_00: What matters is what you do next.

16:35 SPEAKER_00: All right, action step number two.

16:37 SPEAKER_00: Notice your food labels.

16:39 SPEAKER_00: This week, pay attention to how often you label your food as good or bad.

16:43 SPEAKER_00: Notice when you say things like, I was so good today, I've been bad all weekend.

16:48 SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't eat that.

16:49 SPEAKER_00: Instead, practice neutral language.

16:51 SPEAKER_00: Try saying, I chose that food, I enjoyed that food.

16:54 SPEAKER_00: That food didn't make me a good or bad person because when you stop foods from being moral, you stop feeling like every bite is a test you either pass or you fail.

17:05 SPEAKER_00: And then action step number three, create a non-food reward.

17:09 SPEAKER_00: This weekend, instead of automatically rewarding yourself with food, create one reward that has nothing to do with eating.

17:15 SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a long walk by yourself, a hot bath, a new book, a pedicure, a nap, an hour doing something that you love.

17:22 SPEAKER_00: Practice feeling proud of yourself without needing food to validate that because food is nourishment.

17:27 SPEAKER_00: It's not your paycheck for surviving the week.

17:30 SPEAKER_00: And it's here that I want you to remember you don't need a perfect Monday.

17:34 SPEAKER_00: You don't need more willpower.

17:35 SPEAKER_00: You don't need to start over.

17:36 SPEAKER_00: You simply need to make the next best choice you can from where you are right now.

17:42 SPEAKER_00: That's how lasting weight loss happens.

17:44 SPEAKER_00: One imperfect, consistent choice at a time.

17:48 SPEAKER_00: So here's I what I want you to walk away with today.

17:50 SPEAKER_00: The Monday restart cycle isn't because you don't want this badly enough.

17:54 SPEAKER_00: It's because you've been taught to think about food in a way that sets you up to fail by Wednesday.

17:59 SPEAKER_00: And then you call that a character flaw.

18:01 SPEAKER_00: You don't need to start over.

18:03 SPEAKER_00: You never did.

18:04 SPEAKER_00: You need to just do it differently moving forward.

18:06 SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what the weight loss of midlife method is for.

18:10 SPEAKER_00: It is my real framework.

18:11 SPEAKER_00: It's my eight-week coaching program, and it walks you through step by step how to go from feeling stuck in the all or nothing cycle to actually trusting yourself around food again, from dreading Mondays to not even thinking about them, from counting down to the weekend to having your weekends just feel like your life, from one slip turning into a lost week to one slip just being a moment that you're just right back into.

18:32 SPEAKER_00: That's a transfer transformation.

18:34 SPEAKER_00: Not perfect, just finally, consistently you.

18:37 SPEAKER_00: Okay, if today's episode hit home, this is your next step, and you'll find the link in the show notes.

18:42 SPEAKER_00: If this episode felt like I was talking directly to you, I probably was because I have lived every single part of this.

18:47 SPEAKER_00: You are not broken, you're not starting over, you're just starting right now from wherever you are.

18:53 SPEAKER_00: If you love this episode, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today.

18:57 SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening and for choosing to invest in your health and in your future.

19:00 SPEAKER_00: These small moments of care that you take are what really build confidence and lasting strength so that you can live your best life.

19:07 SPEAKER_00: All right, ladies, remember that you are beautiful and strong.

19:10 SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep showing up for yourself, keep celebrating those small wins and remember one choice, one change, one meal at a time.

19:16 SPEAKER_00: I hope you have an amazing week.

19:23 SPEAKER_00: Before you go, I have one quick favor to ask.

19:25 SPEAKER_00: If this episode empowered you, it would mean so much to me if you could help describe the word.

19:30 SPEAKER_00: So more women can use that to the muscles and feel unbelievably strong and common.

19:35 SPEAKER_00: The best way to do this is great, we feel like we're talking about it.